Do you find yourself always reaching for that phone, tablet, computer? Constantly checking what others are doing on Facebook, maybe even feelings of envy arise, as you scroll through someone’s photos showing them to be gloriously happy and you sit and think to yourself, how have you got this lonely and removed from life?
For a start, please don’t think or believe that peoples portrayal of their lives is accurate. We see the happy and highlighted moments of people’s lives – not the realities of the mundaneness of the day or the arguments we get into.
It’s an illusion. People can create a false picture of themselves to be happy all the time, because, who wants to air their dirty laundry via the internet. What’s important to remember is, happiness is always going to be a temporary state. If we were happy all the time, we wouldn’t be able to learn gratitude. Life is peaks and flows and sometimes we are angry and disappointed and low and depressed, and that’s okay. All feelings are valid and it’s what we ALL go through on a daily basis, whether people choose to admit it or not.
Modern society seems to crave closeness and connection, but also wants the protective barrier of the computer screen. We are a nation that seems closer than ever, but also worlds apart. I can have some deep and interesting conversations via Facebook and that leaves me temporarily satisfied, but then I sit down in front of the TV alone. We have lost the art of real conversation. Connectedness.
We tend to neglect meeting each other face to face these days. Most of our communication is actually subtle body language, so no wonder we feel separated and alone, because we are. If you think about it, in text, we can edit ourselves. In reality we have to show ourself in all its raw messiness and that creates anxiety for some. It’s created a nation of people far too aware of ‘image’ and less aware of real experiences and real connection.
Are you the one always making plans but people either cancel or you do. And you still spend all night on Facebook chatting to each other? We have become self conscious and worried. Someone has to break the cycle. We are losing ourselves and each other. It’s like we crave authentic exchanges, but don’t know how to have authentic exchanges any more.
Put that phone down, go and sit in a cafe and have a latte. Take a book if you feel anxious. You might be surprised that others may want to interact. Find local groups to join, exercise classes etc. It may feel strange at first, but you will find others are also there alone and chat will naturally come. Don’t edit yourself. Don’t plan what you should say. Just be in the moment and you will find being entirely present in that moment will make you feel more alive than any Facebook chat could.
Dan Millman – Way of the Peaceful Warrior
Where are you? Here
What time is it? Now
What are you? This momen