Individual Therapy

Top Ways to Connect in the Community

Living a fulfilling life is about more than just chasing your own dreams and goals. It’s about connecting with individuals around you and development on a social level as well. We are meant to help and support each other and help uplift our communities. So how can you get involved:

  • Volunteer: Volunteering is one of the easiest ways to form part of your community. Every community has something they stand for or organizations that need help. Maybe you can volunteer at the soup kitchen or at the puppy shelter. You’ll meet new people and help your community in the process.

  • Solve a problem: Another great way to get involved is by helping to fix a current problem in the community. Do you have a contact that could sponsor a local play or a budget-friendly contractor for a new feature in the park? It’s about using your resources to help others in need.

  • Attend Events: In order to connect with the community you can try and attend the local events. This includes town meetings, bake sales, sports events and book sales. It’s about making yourself present and showing that you are open to connecting with others.

  • Exercise: See if there are walking or other exercise groups that you can join in your community. It’s a great way to stay fit while making friends and connecting with community members alike.

 

These are just a few easy ways in which you can connect and form part of your community. It might be easier said than done for some individuals, so if you want to discuss how you can connect with a few setbacks you might have, we can discuss it during therapy. We're based in Lancaster, PA and I’d be happy to help.

Is Technology Holding You Back from Enjoying Life?

Do you find yourself always reaching for that phone, tablet, computer? Constantly checking what others are doing on Facebook, maybe even feelings of envy arise, as you scroll through someone’s photos showing them to be gloriously happy and you sit and think to yourself, how have you got this lonely and removed from life?

For a start, please don’t think or believe that peoples portrayal of their lives is accurate. We see the happy and highlighted moments of people’s lives – not the realities of the mundaneness of the day or the arguments we get into. 

It’s an illusion. People can create a false picture of themselves to be happy all the time, because, who wants to air their dirty laundry via the internet. What’s important to remember is, happiness is always going to be a temporary state. If we were happy all the time, we wouldn’t be able to learn gratitude. Life is peaks and flows and sometimes we are angry and disappointed and low and depressed, and that’s okay. All feelings are valid and it’s what we ALL go through on a daily basis, whether people choose to admit it or not.

Modern society seems to crave closeness and connection, but also wants the protective barrier of the   computer screen. We are a nation that seems closer than ever, but also worlds apart. I can have some deep and interesting conversations via Facebook and that leaves me temporarily satisfied, but then I sit down in front of the TV alone. We have lost the art of real conversation. Connectedness.

We tend to neglect meeting each other face to face these days. Most of our communication is actually subtle body language, so no wonder we feel separated and alone, because we are. If you think about it, in text, we can edit ourselves. In reality we have to show ourself in all its raw messiness and that creates anxiety for some. It’s created a nation of people far too aware of ‘image’ and less aware of real experiences and real connection.

Are you the one always making plans but people either cancel or you do. And you still spend all night on Facebook chatting to each other? We have become self conscious and worried. Someone has to break the cycle. We are losing ourselves and each other. It’s like we crave authentic exchanges, but don’t know how to have authentic exchanges any more.

Put that phone down, go and sit in a cafe and have a latte. Take a book if you feel anxious. You might be surprised that others may want to interact. Find local groups to join, exercise classes etc. It may feel strange at first, but you will find others are also there alone and chat will naturally come. Don’t edit yourself. Don’t plan what you should say. Just be in the moment and you will find being entirely present in that moment will make you feel more alive than any Facebook chat could.

Dan Millman – Way of the Peaceful Warrior

Where are you? Here
What time is it? Now
What are you? This momen

Are You Struggling with Love Addiction?

Do you find yourself drifting in and out of relationships. Excited in the first few months but, eventually, it wanes and even boredom sets in. You end up seeking the next person to bring that excitement back. You like the ‘in’ love feeling, almost crave it. A repetitive pattern is never by fluke. It’s trying to tell you something.

This is just one form of love addiction. A lot of us tend to find we repeat relationship patterns. We start afresh with someone new, but it ends up feeling frighteningly familiar to the last relationship. It’s true we can carry baggage from one relationship to the next, but what if it’s deeper than that? What if it’s a deeply held belief you have about yourself?

You may find yourself getting bored easily, maybe running away from something. Maybe closeness or intimacy scares you. You try to end the relationship before getting too attached, saving yourself from the heartache in the long run. Or maybe you’re trying to fill an emptiness you feel inside. And if you don’t manage to fill that void, you’re no longer believing that the person you’re dating is  ‘the one’ and you try to move on quickly.

If you feel incomplete in some way, the only person that can complete you….is you. It’s an outdated notion to expect to find your ‘other half’- the soul mate, the ‘one’. What if you already ARE a complete and whole person. Relationships need to be an ‘addition’ to your life, rather than something that provides a band aid of some sort. How you feel about yourself will always be reflected in the kind of relationships you choose to find yourself in.

A re-learning has to occur. Love is not just a feeling, it’s an ability. Anyone can say ‘I love you’. But to be able to show it is another matter. To learn to love yourself as well as another, you have to go back to basics and ask yourself what do you want in a partner and why? If it’s to feel important or to be needed, where does that come from? By analyzing, you will be able to break the negative patterns and live more authentically and in the now.

Come to talk to one of our expert therapists today to talk more about your romantic relationships and set goals in counseling.

Mental Health Concerns for Millennials

Millennials are a stressed generation. They are working more hours, making less than older generations and have mountains of student loan debt. Stress not only hurts their emotional and mental wellbeing, but it is also damaging their sex lives.

Mental Health

Millennials are reported to have higher rates of anxiety and depression than any generation before them. This can be attributed to a growing conversation around mental health which has prompted them to come forward with their struggles. Regardless, living with a mental health condition can present challenges when it comes to intimacy and sex. Depression and anxiety can leave us with a lack of interest in sex and intimacy, and having a low libido is often a side-effect of antidepressants. Managing mental health is vital to one’s health. If you are feeling depressed or anxiety, seek help from your doctor and mental health professionals.

Chronic Stress

Working 45+ hours a week, having a side business, and maintaining a social life can leave anyone feeling drained. Many 20 and 30 somethings are working hard to build their business while sacrificing their love life. Nothing is sexier than someone with ambition, but that bubble bursts when a significant other forgets about their partner. Work-life balance is an important thing and something everyone benefits from. On average, employees who take time off and have boundaries around not answering phone calls and email off work hours tend to be happier. And when you are happier and less stressed, it allows you to connect with your partner.

Hormone Imbalance

Testosterone, estrogen, and progesterone can all impact our sex lives. Having happy and balanced hormones is essential for keeping our sex drive up. When we have an increase of stress in our lives, our cortisol levels rise and directly affect our hormones in a negative way, impacting our sex drive. Managing stress will help to keep your hormones balanced. Meditation, exercise and eating a healthy, well-balanced diet with limited processed foods will help maintain your hormones. With the demands of work, time for family and friends, it’s no wonder millennials are having less sex on average. These overworked, underpaid 20 and 30 somethings are feeling the reality of a changing world. At the same time, it is important for millennials to remember sex and intimacy are an important part, of well...being human.

Maintaining a healthy work-life balance, and keeping your mental and physical health in check will help to make your sex life more enjoyable!

Is it 'Anxiety' that's Bothering You?

Most people can relate to the feeling we call anxiety: your heart races, your palms feel sweaty, your thoughts may be frantic or repetitive. As a response to stress, these feelings are normal and not necessarily harmful. In fact, anxiety is a useful reaction to danger, triggering our internal “alarm system” and preparing us to either confront or escape a threat.  

Anxiety may also come in the form of worries. We all worry. Worries are thoughts about what may happen in the future. Worries are the warnings our mind sends us that something bad might happen, so we’d better prepare.

Anxious feelings and worries can serve a useful purpose. Anxiety can motivate us to prepare for dangers or challenges. Worries help us to identify potential problems and proactively seek solutions. But for some people, these feelings of worry and anxiety are overwhelming or do not subside once the problem is resolved. When anxiety prevents you from living life the way you want, or when worries become obsessive intrusions, it is time to seek help.

Anxiety disorders are the most common mental health problem in our country. It is estimated that 40 million adult Americans, or 18% of the population, suffer from anxiety disorders[1]. The term “anxiety disorder” encompasses several types of conditions, including panic disorder, social anxiety disorder, and phobias. Closely related disorders and ones that often occur alongside anxiety include obsessive compulsive disorder, post traumatic stress disorder, and depression. 

The good news is that anxiety disorders are highly treatable. Getting help for anxiety that is out of control or impacting your life is a sign of strength, not weakness. A good counselor, like those at Sun Point Wellness Center, can help evaluate the causes and impact of your anxiety and will help you to develop strategies for coping and regaining control.

 It is normal to be nervous about starting therapy. Particularly for people who struggle with anxiety, talking about your most private feelings with a stranger may seem overwhelming and frightening. Your therapist understands this, and will work together with you to make the experience as comfortable and stress free as possible. Making the decision to see a therapist is an empowering first step to changing your life, and you should feel proud of yourself for making this commitment.

Signs that it is time to seek help:

     You are having trouble falling asleep or staying asleep

     You’ve become unable to concentrate, have a short temper, or are irritable

     Your anxiety is interfering with your work or relationships

     You feel anxious or worried most of the time for no obvious reason, or even after the stressful event has passed

     You have physical symptoms, such as headaches, tension, diarrhea, nausea, fatigue or chest pain, that are not explained by another medical condition

     You are using alcohol or drugs to cope or mask your symptoms

     You find yourself worrying obsessively and feeling constant impending dread

     You have withdrawn from social relationships and/or activities you once enjoyed

     You feel like you’ve tried everything, but you just can’t climb out of this hole

If you or a loved one needs help with anxiety, contact us at Sun Point Wellness Center, or find a therapist near you.

[1] https://www.adaa.org/about-adaa/press-room/facts-statistics